Girls and Her

When I first heard of the Girls…I was appalled. And that is putting it lightly. My self-loathing was tangible, palpable oozing so bad I had to work over time and two extra shifts to deny it. It felt like I was looking in a mismatched mirror of my own desperate past, that was now for all to see, objectify, ridicule. It was like self-loathing on super speed. I refused to watch it. One time, out at dinner at a semi-chic (read; not so good and overpriced) then-new restaurant in Bed-Stuy (so Girls) my friend told me that I reminded her of Lena Dunham. Not, her alter ego Hannah, but the real LD herself. I almost died. I had not yet seen Tiny Furniture or Girls, but still, it was like a kick to the lady parts that made me want to flip my gourmet macaroni slider ball covered table and storm out to wait 45 minutes for the G.

Anyways, there was a lot of weird self-loathing slash overall annoyance with the show…before I actually sat down to watch it and TF.  Of course, I LOVED. IT. because obviously how else would that story end.

Not only do I love the show-not my favorite in history but-hilarious and uncomfortable nipple showing half shirts and all, but I deeply admire Lena Dunham. She REPRESENTS. She OWNS her shit. She basically has a mini Bey thing goin on, not as fabulous of course, no one could be, but we can all aspire. Perhaps most importantly, she is a boss. She runs the show, writes it, produces it, and doesn’t give a damn what people think. Especially of how she looks, which by the way makes her a fucking hero to like millions of women. Not saying she is perfect, and I kind of wish she would write Hannah to be more like Lena, but whatever. The point is, I was way wrong.

Now, when I saw the trailer for Her, starring Joaquin Phoenix I literally barfed in my mouth a couple of times over and over again, then once for real on the floor. Then I saw this article in the Atlantic; why it is THE BEST film of the year… Oh congratulations you mega douche. You love your phone. Novel concept really…oh wait, have you ever met ANYONE before?! If only your character was a little bit more like your “character” I’m Still Here, then I think things could get for realsies interesting. Remember how much you hated women in that movie? It’s almost like you could make them disappear! Which is exactly what has happened in Her. Ahhh, sweet relief. A womanless world.

Which brings me to my next point. Another character who made a lady disappear, Stanley Tucci in The Lovely Bones.

Can I get a Hello?!The whole PDA with your PDA (who happens to be Scarlett Johansson, I mean are you kidding me Jonze) joke is like MADE with the movie though, thanks for that at least. But, just like with Girls maybe I should watch it and it won’t make me want to die so much. Except, Girls is all about, well…it’s in the title…girls running their shit. Her, on the other hand, is just that…the objectifying, commodifying, empty, perfect, AI girlfriend any hetero-normative mustachioed tool can ever hope to Google.Congrats to you on that.

Tickle me iPhone

I was talking to my mother earlier today when I mentioned to her that I waited in line for a couple hours with Davide last night at the apple store in soho so he could get his iPhone. Now, judge as you will, my mother started jestfully lambasting me, which -for the record- is a rare occurrence, saying “now, i could think of at least 200 better ways to spend your time.”

I asked if it was Steve Job’s incredible failure to include the most intuitive, most organic design function ever known to telecommunication devices- the lack of a small hole to hang charms- that really rubbed her the wrong way?

It didn’t seem to be.

but then she went on. think of cabbage patch kids and the idiots who loved them!

(me; 1989)

think of tickle me elmo!

(me;2006)

PEOPLE GO CRAZY FOR THINGS. it’s so true. it’s so hilarious. and i was there.

“at least I’ll be a part of history, and the technological foolishness of the 21st century” Davide told me after we waited, and pizza-ed. i like that, not burdened with shame but not blinded by i…whatever.

I hadn’t planned on waiting- it just happened because we had a good time. he helped me with Italian, we enjoyed the camaraderie of the line,people kind of nodding at each other when they finally got to go three steps forward to the “genius” bar,comforting each other in their times of woe and sorrow…and when their mobile plan was denied and they actually had to pay 599,etc.

I was also wondering about people who choose to wait in line in general. Don’t get me wrong- I don’t hate the gluttony of the NEED to HAVE it RIGHT NOW. I am curious about the fetish of punishment, of pain and wonder about those line-lovers and their emotional BDSM tendencies. not that this has to go over the foucauldian blogosphere top, but seriously, people who wait in lines for shows,hot dogs, discos,iPhones, it’s really dog-like. you can wear the leather collar, but without the social stigma- finally!

Which seem to be a common occurrence globally, even if Japan is skeptical of the iPhone :

“Until I owned an iPhone, I didn’t see as clearly how closed Japanese content was,” Tohyama said. “It was not a global standard at all.”

But he was just as quick to note that he needs to keep tapping into his old Japanese cell phone because he needs its special smiley icons and other images for e-mail.

Other new iPhone owners had more basic concerns. Shunji Hagii, 37, who crafts animation and movie figures, said he doesn’t need the emoticon e-mail that Tohyama relies on. Instead, he says of his iPhone: “I wish the battery life were better.”

and i think that’s something we can all agree on.