Girls and Her

When I first heard of the Girls…I was appalled. And that is putting it lightly. My self-loathing was tangible, palpable oozing so bad I had to work over time and two extra shifts to deny it. It felt like I was looking in a mismatched mirror of my own desperate past, that was now for all to see, objectify, ridicule. It was like self-loathing on super speed. I refused to watch it. One time, out at dinner at a semi-chic (read; not so good and overpriced) then-new restaurant in Bed-Stuy (so Girls) my friend told me that I reminded her of Lena Dunham. Not, her alter ego Hannah, but the real LD herself. I almost died. I had not yet seen Tiny Furniture or Girls, but still, it was like a kick to the lady parts that made me want to flip my gourmet macaroni slider ball covered table and storm out to wait 45 minutes for the G.

Anyways, there was a lot of weird self-loathing slash overall annoyance with the show…before I actually sat down to watch it and TF.  Of course, I LOVED. IT. because obviously how else would that story end.

Not only do I love the show-not my favorite in history but-hilarious and uncomfortable nipple showing half shirts and all, but I deeply admire Lena Dunham. She REPRESENTS. She OWNS her shit. She basically has a mini Bey thing goin on, not as fabulous of course, no one could be, but we can all aspire. Perhaps most importantly, she is a boss. She runs the show, writes it, produces it, and doesn’t give a damn what people think. Especially of how she looks, which by the way makes her a fucking hero to like millions of women. Not saying she is perfect, and I kind of wish she would write Hannah to be more like Lena, but whatever. The point is, I was way wrong.

Now, when I saw the trailer for Her, starring Joaquin Phoenix I literally barfed in my mouth a couple of times over and over again, then once for real on the floor. Then I saw this article in the Atlantic; why it is THE BEST film of the year… Oh congratulations you mega douche. You love your phone. Novel concept really…oh wait, have you ever met ANYONE before?! If only your character was a little bit more like your “character” I’m Still Here, then I think things could get for realsies interesting. Remember how much you hated women in that movie? It’s almost like you could make them disappear! Which is exactly what has happened in Her. Ahhh, sweet relief. A womanless world.

Which brings me to my next point. Another character who made a lady disappear, Stanley Tucci in The Lovely Bones.

Can I get a Hello?!The whole PDA with your PDA (who happens to be Scarlett Johansson, I mean are you kidding me Jonze) joke is like MADE with the movie though, thanks for that at least. But, just like with Girls maybe I should watch it and it won’t make me want to die so much. Except, Girls is all about, well…it’s in the title…girls running their shit. Her, on the other hand, is just that…the objectifying, commodifying, empty, perfect, AI girlfriend any hetero-normative mustachioed tool can ever hope to Google.Congrats to you on that.

you, me, a plane, a car, a train and we’ll figure it out from there

in no particular order, places i have to get to.

-Maya Lin, the sculptural prodige behind the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in DC (did you know that when people visit memorials like this, and leave say, oh a half pack of marlboro reds, a pair of boots and a picture next to the wall–its someones job to pick those things up and put them in an archive. How would you like to be the cyrptolibrarian of symbolic gestures to the dead archive?) also has an amazing piece at this naturalist sculpture park which is my new favorite nickname for anything i like “Storm King”. it’s called waveforms, and its just a field of grass which is constructed to look like the ocean.

-James Turrell’s Roden Crater. “Also, there’s a space where you can see your shadow from the light of Venus alone – things like this. And also wanted to gather starlight that was from outside, light that’s not only from outside the planetary system which would be from the sun or reflected off of the moon or a planet, but also to emanate light from the galactic planes where you’ve got this older light that’s away from the light even of our galaxy. So that is light that would be at least three and a half billion years old. So you’re gathering light that’s older than our solar system. And it’s possible to gather that light, it takes a good bit of stars to do that, and a good look into older skies, away from the Milky Way. You can gather that light and physically have that in place so that it’s physically present to feel this old light. Now that’s a blended light, of course, but it’s also red-shifted, so it’s a different tone of light than we’re normally used to. But that’s something that you can do here in a place like this, where you have good, dark skies. So to have this sort of old blended light and to have this sort of new, eight and a half minute old light from the sun – it’s like having the Beaujolais and then having a finer, older mature blend [of wine] as well. And I wanted to look at light that way, because to feel it physically, almost as we taste things, was a quality I wanted. And this is where you can work with light like that.” images

and, my most favorite of favorite dream destinations, Walter De Maria’s Lightning field in New Mexico. cabins available. that’s all im saying on this.lightningfield-top

NYC LARPs, shit gets called out

This guy larped, 1870 uniform, narrating story as "Charles"

Charles: yo so i did the LES Murder Mystery show with then Tenement Museum yesterday and some guy runs up to me in the middle of it and starts yelling at me to get out of the neighborhood
so i stay in character and make a joke about him and the people laugh and hes like “I heard that! I heard you all laughing at me!”

me: HAHAHAHAH
what did you say??

Charles: i dont remeber
i have a line about how people go poo in the street
and i think i said he was one of the biggest pooers
and then he called me and asshole and wouldn’t leave till we moved down the street
and was yelling its 2009 until we left

me: was he just crazy person?

Charles: no he was a hipster

me: really???

Charles: yeah, he was mad cuz “they’re always doing something on this street, shooting movies, its not a stage its where people live.”
but of course he would never say anything to the people shooting the movie, hell just interrupt the live theatre show being run by the Tenement Museum, those horrible people who are ruining the neighborhood…sorry for the rant

me: no its hilarious
its just out of hand
i mean great experience for you i guess
lemons–>lemonade

Charles: at the time i thought it was funny, but the more i think about the angrier i get at that guy…
p.s. he lives in my building, i saw him go in after he yelled at us

me: NO FING WAY
and you were like…see you later

Charles: no but i wonder if hell recognize me
I was in a full on 1870’s costume

me: but what are you going to do!

Charles: ill be cool, but if he says anything im going to tell him to man up and yell at the huge movie studios that shut down the streets and stop you from waling home instead of events run by the tenement museum whose sole purpose is to enrich the neighborhood and educate the people about how awesome it is
i regret using the word awesome

me: i think we should just dress up in full 1870 gear
and wait outside the door with lead pipes
and then sing an old irish drinking song to him

Charles: and then?

me: thats all

Charles: no hitting with the pipes?

me: well use the pipes as dancing batons

Charles: hahah!
thats a bit!
write it down

me: thats not a bit
talking about bits is a bit
also its already technically “written down”

Charles: i know, but saying its a bit, is too inside of a bit

me: elaborate?

Charles: its an inside joke with comedians
to be like thats a bit
you wouldn’t understand

i ch-ch-choose

I was filling out this information sheet online just now and, shazzam! I had an option! This is the first time I have ever seen a choice beyond just male or female (and through NYU of all places) Correct me if I’m wrong but I feel like it’s pretty rare to even have the option to not select, and this is still complicated but it’s something.

so i was like Dean, my goodfella, come take a look at this! and he was all like..

DEAN JANSEN